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"She stuck her tongue out at me and said, "First you will have to show me that your health insurance is up to date. When I put you in the hospital I want to know that you'll be taken care of."One day when I came in after not stopping in for a week she came up to my table and lifted her top to show me that she'd had her navel pierced and was sporting what looked like a diamond stick pin."You know Tiff, I have a barely controllable urge to kiss your belly." I'd let you, but then you'd want to see the one farther down and if I let you see that one I'm afraid you would have a heart attack. I can't afford to lose any of my good tippers."This kind of banter went on for months and then one day I came in to find that Tiff wasn't her usual cheery self."Got a problem Tiff?"She slid into the booth across from me. "My asshole boyfriend just told me to move out. He said he was moving to Durango and was going to sell the house. Then he told me that when he got set up there he'd let me know and that. . “I want him, he wants her, what should I write to take them both... ??”He named a price, I added conditions, he upped the price, I wrote the check. Laura meanwhile had been staring at me like I’d lost my mind, or my senses. By the time the deal was done and we were shaking on it, which apparently sealed the bargain, she was looking about ready to explode, or wet herself. Maybe both.Later as we drove away... “You do know what just happened, right?”“Yes Laura, I just bought two horses.”“You really don’t understand, do you... ??”“Yes I do Laura, I just bought two horses.”“No, you just got the deal of the century, that’s what you did... !!”“Huh?”“He thought you were joking... !! The price he offered wasn’t real. Then you made those weird conditions. He still thought you were joking, you wrote that cheque, you didn’t see his face when he realised what you were doing, those weren’t his family, they were his friends, he couldn’t back out without looking a fool, so his shook on it and took.
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